running away from love (and other fantasies)
by pepperpepperoni
Summary: And while Kinokuni Nene may be known for being harsh and stoic on occasion, she is not impenetrable to emotions, which includes the hurt that's currently suffocating her heart.
1. wedding day

**disaster**

* * *

The Kinokuni Clan had insisted that the wedding day will be in the backyard of their wide house, using the shrine built by hired experts in the well-trimmed garden as the place where the ceremony will happen. They had also insisted that the wedding day will happen during spring, where the cherry blossoms and the gingko trees are in full bloom, creating a whole new aesthetic. Spring, of course, is tied to new beginnings, thus appropriate to the whole occasion. They insisted taking care of the venue, the food, the accommodations—anything and everything to truly make sure that the wedding will go off without a hitch. It's because of this carefulness and perfection on the wedding itself that the great Kinokuni Clan did not bother to analyze the ones who will get married.

Kinokuni Nene sits patiently on the chair brought out for her, gentle hands on top of her _shiromuku_ and face slightly upwards so that the make-up artist can dab the powder properly. Her ashy green hair is up in a generous bun, while her eyes are such a bland ruby color as if she cannot be bothered with everything that's happening. Someone tells her to stand, so she does, and everything is heavy. Nene can feel the accessories hidden in her bosom, the short sword and the beautiful engraved box, and it does nothing but pierce her skin thoroughly. Someone passes her a gold fan and, finally, the _wataboshi_ is placed delicately on top of her head. It rests like a crown, or maybe like a heavy burden, but Nene is a lady so she must be indifferent about all these things.

"Are you excited for your big day, Nene?" she hears her mother from her right.

"Of course, mother," Nene replies obediently. She digs her nails on the wooden frame of the fan, still staring straight ahead, not bothering to look back at the person she's conversing with. She tries hard not to think of anything else, praying that this will soon be over, quickly like peeling a bandage off.

"It reminds me of my own wedding," her mother trails off and soon is gossiping with the other women in the room. Nene does not know who they are, only that they helped her put on the _kimono_ , and so she does not bother with their fleeting conversations and obviously exaggerated gimmicks.

She thinks, instead, of her own wedding that will start exactly five minutes from now.

And then, she hears hushing from beyond the door, almost faint considering the amount of women in the room, but it is there—panicking and dread. She hears the shuffle of feet from beyond that, hastily working their way around the house. There's a certain shout, followed by a quick _shush_ right after. It sends a particular flurry of emotions in her heart as she wonders what's happening outside and if it has anything to do with the wedding today.

Her mother must have heard it too for she says, "Oh, what are they doing now?"

"The ceremony is about to start," someone else speaks up; Nene recognizes it as the voice who told her to stand. The person continues, "We should get her to the shrine already."

There's a wave of agreement, and then they're pushing Nene out of the door. Someone is already holding a large red _wagasa_ over her and, of course, her mother's clutching her side, an excited grin on her face. The party walks to the garden, not far from the house itself, and Nene can see the shrine just a few steps from them. There is already a small gathering of people; these are the close family members because weddings are supposed to stay private.

Everyone smiles at her as she passes by; many are simply taken at the frail doll-like beauty that Nene possess and is accentuated by the make-up. Finally, she waits by the shrine and the Shinto priest with everyone else behind her.

Her heart is bursting and she wants to cry, but Kinokuni Nene is cool and composed, so she simply rests her eyes forward, waiting and waiting and waiting. She notices how the priest is furrowing his large eyebrows and the apprehension in his dark eyes as he looks over the crowd but she tries to ignore the warnings of her heart and stay as expressionless as ever.

There's a surge of whispers and mutters from among the room. She tries not to hear it, but it's shaking her entire core and she has to intertwine her fingers and bite her lipstick-covered mouth just to stop it. She swallows deeply, lets out a deep breath, and lets her eyes stay on a wooden column a few steps from her.

Everything comes to a stop when someone runs up to the shrine, breathing heavily, sweat dripping all the way down to their chin and exclaims the following words,

"Satoshi-kun is… is _gone!_ "

Chaos ensued after.

* * *

Nene feels the pity from her mother as the older woman helps her out of her clothes, the gentle hands covering her small arms and smooth skin. Her mother is tearing up; eyes watering but not yet falling and Nene could tell that she's trying hard not to break down in front of her daughter. Nene also feels the pity from her aunt, the latter gently removing the make-up with precise hands and a wet napkin. Her aunt is frowning; a somber look on her face and Nene knows that her aunt is trying to ignore her sister's silent hiccups and careful sniffs. Nene feels the pity from her younger cousins as they clutch the _shiromuku_ in their arms, eyes fluttering unsteadily at their older cousin. Her cousins are glancing at each other now and then, wondering what Nene feels and if they can ever help her.

No one can help her, though, and Nene has accepted it as a fact.

"I'll take a bath," Nene speaks up after a while, voice hoarse from not speaking in over two hours. Until now, the males are frantically searching for Isshiki Satoshi, but Nene knows that he won't be found unless he wants them to. It has taken that many hours for her mother to finally accept that the wedding is officially canceled, that every good wishes and congratulations are more so meaningless right now as before when it was once gratuitously thrown around.

"Oh, Nene," her mother struggles to speak, trying to find words to comfort her only daughter; her only _child_.

Nene pretends not to hear, and heads straight to the bathhouse with all the essential things. Everyone in that room watches her go, unable to say anything in comfort.

So, here is Nene, deep in the hot water of the bath, scalding herself with her harsh emotions. For a while, she stews in there in silence, watching the potted plant in the corner or the sudden humming of the water that's surrounding her. It takes a lot for Kinokuni Nene to break because she's a Kinokuni and the Kinokuni Clan isn't easily brought down by a sway of emotions, of distractions, of—

Finally, Nene breaks. She lets the salty tears run, the defeated wailing through, and her harsh emotions flow. They spill all over the bath, shaking and stuttering everything, but she's not yet done because she wants to let it all out, _everything_ that she has caged since the beginning. From her losses to her defeats to the insecurity that has plagued her life—she lets it all out. She cries and cries and cries, while everyone else looks the other way, letting the heir of the Kinokuni Clan drown in her loneliness and her frustration.

* * *

"Nene, did you ever date someone?" Kobayashi Rindou says a year later, popping a green _mochi_ in her mouth, looking over at her friend. Her golden eyes skim over Nene, trying to figure out what exact emotion will appear in her ruby eyes. It's a surprise to Rindou that there's only contempt.

"Not really, Rindou-san," Nene replies easily, choosing to eat the scone in front of her.

They're at a small bakery that Nene had recommended. The calming smell of bread and coffee had made Nene feel warm when she first stepped into the bakery. There's also the melodic sound of the piano playing in the background that creates such a serene environment. Not a lot of people are eating here, instead choosing to go straight to the take-out line so that they may bring the pastries home. Nene has spent many weekends in this particular bakery and, since she can safely call Rindou a friend of hers, she decided to introduce it to the velvet-haired woman when she visited with no notice.

" _Eh~_ " Rindou drawls out, a smirk already forming on her lips. She's gesturing at the stream of people outside the café who are walking around aimlessly when she tells Nene, "Even here in a university where there's full of hot guys around? That's surprising."

Nene does not speak for a while as she drowns the scone with the glass of water beside her. Bluntly, she tells her upperclassman, "I'm not studying in a university to date someone."

Rindou puffs out her cheeks, leaning back to her cushioned chair. She crosses her arms under her breasts, emphasizing her cleavage, before proclaiming, "That's boring, Nene."

"It doesn't matter what you think, Rindou-san," Nene waves her off nonchalantly with a shrug. Her ruby eyes, if possible, have become even more bland and blank ever since the incident a year ago. She's become withdrawn, refusing to understand the pitiful eyes of her clan, and so she's here in Tokyo on her own, renting an apartment a few blocks from her university. Why Nene has chosen to pursue a degree when she could easily take over the kitchen is anyone's guess, but only her mother was supportive of her decision.

"Don't be so mean, Nene," Rindou hums, "After all, I'll only be in Japan for a few more days. Just have to finish something."

"I'm sure Tsukasa-senpai will be delighted when you visit him," Nene responds automatically, knowing internally just how important the two are in each other's lives.

"W-what?" Rindou stutters and, for a moment, a flash of embarrassment floods to her cheeks. Still, she quickly composes herself, shooting the smaller girl a glare before proving Nene wrong, "I was going to visit someone else, all right? Besides, I'm sure Eishi is all well and good."

The last part is said in a hurry and with such nervous tones that it makes Nene assume that the two have already met prior to this.

It creates a certain longing in her heart as she wonders if she'll ever feel like that as well.

* * *

He comes, of course, as an obnoxious knock on the door, past eleven in the evening, a few days after Rindou visited.

Nene had been studying for her upcoming exam, absently playing with her ashy green hair that she's let down for now. The light in her room is confidently buzzing and the humming of the wind occasionally caresses the windows. She gladly read the book on her desk, memorizing each line with painful accuracy and diligence because, at least, facts and figures rarely change—they simply exist.

By 11:26 pm, as stated by the clock right beside her school things, a knock on the door pushes her out from her study session.

She considers not opening the door, letting whoever the person on the other side stay all night because, honestly, who knocks on people's doors late at night? It can be a serial killer or someone else just as terrifying. Her neighbors avoid her if they can, and they're certainly not ones to go on knocking on people's doors for the heck of it.

Another knock shakes her awake from her reverie.

She's a bit nervous by now, wondering who's behind the door. She waits by her desk, already clutching her phone, ready to dial the police if anything happens.

The person knocks yet again, this time, unstopping and unrelenting. The knocks are now continuous and she's suddenly more annoyed than terrified. (She honestly thinks Kuga Terunori, that prick, is the one outside her apartment).

Harshly, she pulls open the door, irritation seeping in her veins. She's ready to give whoever the person is a piece of her goddamned mind, thinking of ways to pulverize a person.

But she stops because it's one face she never expected.

"…Isshiki?"

* * *

 **a/n: i've had such an overwhelming response on my last fic about these two, so i decided to make another story! this time with more romance in it haha. this story will probably go on about seven chapters, i think. i'm not proficient with japanese culture so if you guys think that there's something wrong/offensive, please tell me so i can fix it. hope you enjoyed this first chapter! :) see you in the next one!**


	2. current events

**catastrophe**

* * *

Even Kinokuni Nene surprises herself when her immediate response is to slap Isshiki Satoshi right across his cheek. He himself doesn't respond right away, choosing to linger on the right, and she uses that pause to smack the door close on his face.

It feels liberating in a way.

"Kinokuni-kun," he pleads from the other side with that gentle tone that he usually reserves when scolding his underclassmen or explaining lessons thoroughly. But it's not the uncharacteristic softness that surprises her—it's the way his cerulean eyes had looked so blank, so broken, so familiar because it's a sight she sees in the mirror often as well.

She lets her body lean against the wooden door that's separating them. Her heart is hammering her chest, as if it's begging to break through her skin, and her breaths are getting heavier by the minute, as if she's been running for too long. And maybe she has, in a way; maybe they both have been running for too long.

"Why are you here?" she lets out harshly, but she cringes when it sounds more panicky and stressed than she's intending. She can feel him pause from the other side and she hates how she can picture him this very instant: calloused fingers rubbing the back of his neck, darkened eyes landing on the welcome mat she put out days before, and his mouth in a perfectly thin line, frustrated probably or maybe just as distressed as she is. In a few seconds, he'll start his sentence with a deep sigh.

She is proven correct when she hears the sigh from outside. It's deep and long, carrying his exhaustion, his grievance, and his dejection. Finally, he speaks, "I need to talk to you."

"Why?" she demands. She's glad that, this time, her voice doesn't waver with her apprehension. It stands firm and it's determined to push him away.

"Because you need to know the truth," he says, equally determined as her.

She wills her eyes shut. A wave of emotions flood her, similar to that day just a year ago, and it's just as painful to revisit as it was back then. She thinks of the 'truth' that he offers, if it's really his honest take on that day or if there's a catch to all of this because no one decent takes a year to apologize. But it's Satoshi, something inside tells her, he's the person she grew up with, the person that she envies yet admires at the same time. Even if she tries to forget, Isshiki Satoshi was once an important figure in her life. She _knows_ him, unfortunately, and she knows as well that she's the one person he never lies to.

" _Please_ ," he mumbles, but his deep voice reverberates through the door and she hears it so clearly that he might as well mumbled it in her ear. The urgency in his tone startles her because never has Nene heard such an emotion from his mouth. He's always been so laidback, maybe occasionally serious, but even then he still carries the same carefree personality.

It takes that much for her to open the door and she regrets it.

Satoshi saunters in stiffly, eyes bouncing up and down the walls. He hasn't changed in the past year; still sporting the same wavy orange hair that reaches the back of his neck with the same _ahoge_ on top of his head, the same pointed nose, the same body structure—it's as if he never left. Nene leads him to the living room after he takes off his brogue shoes (she notices the logo of _Versace_ on the strap) in silence. He willingly sits down on the pure white sofa and she chooses to sit on the stainless steel stool she placed right beside the sofa. It's usually used as an object to prop her legs on, but she cannot bear to sit on the same space as he does right now.

They brew in the awkward silence, quite unsure on how to start. Nene waits for him with unsettled ruby eyes and a firm grip on the fabric of her pajamas. Satoshi himself looks unable to speak. He has his eyes on the glass coffee table in front of him and his hands rest casually on his lap. If it's anyone else, they would have assumed that he's simply thinking deeply but he's with Nene and she's confident that he's nervous with this whole ordeal.

The sound that breaks their silence is Nene's sigh. His head snaps up to her as she starts, "Do you want some tea?"

He gives her a grateful smile before shaking his head. As if he's grabbed newfound confidence with her hesitant offer, Satoshi finally begins his explanation, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry: I shouldn't have left you without an explanation."

Her hands find each other in her lap. She believes him, no matter how crazy it sounds, that he's truly sorry, that he wishes that something else could have happened; something that doesn't involve pain but understanding and letting go. Her heart doesn't hurt any less, however.

"I ran away because I was scared," he explains, eyes meeting hers halfway (and it's the perfect shade of blue that showed off his sincerity). "Because I knew that marrying you back then was the wrong decision."

She nods, not bothering to open her mouth because she knows that her voice will fail her. She understands, and she hates it, because those are also her thoughts during their wedding day. She remembers her shaky hands and the hesitance in her steps, she remembers also the terror that plunged in her lungs at the thought of jumping into something that she has no knowledge of but she stayed still because at least she'll be able to face it with _him_.

It's clear that he hadn't felt the same way.

"I didn't tell you," he says, probably noticing the way her eyes shifted, "and that's my biggest regret."

Nene notices how he rushes to her side before she can notice the tears that fall from her eyes. The tears land on her intertwined hands and she can already taste the salt, the pain, the hurt. She quickly wipes them away by rubbing both of her palms beneath her eyes but they stubbornly refuse to go away. Satoshi is already in front of her on his knees, clutching her lap like a dog pleading its owner. His eyes tell a different story however, because they show his guilt and his distress but the rest of his face is without emotion. She despises him even more now, feeling her heart twist and turn inside her chest, and she hates how calm he is, how he looks unaffected by everything that's happened between them, how he can never truly know what her heart's screaming, or what it has endured in the past year.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. He lets his head hang and he looks as if he's bowing to her, she can tell as well that he's shutting his eyes tightly. He whispers again and again and again the same words, sounding even more pain-stricken than the first. She thinks that maybe he's just as affected as she is, and she hates him a little less.

"Why couldn't you tell me, Satoshi?" she cries out hoarsely, letting the pain seep through her voice, "Why didn't you tell _me_?"

He doesn't reply. The response she gets is his nails digging under her skin.

"You're supposed to tell me everything!" she's shouting now and the tears that are dropping are angrier as well, bitter and not as salty as before, "We're supposed to tell each other everything! _Everything_."

The last part is said with such brokenness that Satoshi finally raises his head and the reply that he gives is just as broken and pitiful, "I know."

* * *

She dreams of cerulean eyes and calloused hands that night. They're reaching into her heart and they're tugging and tugging and tugging. Occasionally they grip her heart so tightly that it bursts open. She wakes up with a start when that happens, but it doesn't take long before she's sleeping again, soft snores echoing around her bedroom. It doesn't take long also for her to dream of the same cerulean eyes and calloused hands—and so the cycle continues throughout the night.

* * *

Nene wakes up at 6:48 am with scratchy eyes and a heavy heart. She pushes her covers away and reaches for her glasses on the bedside drawer. Quietly, she sneaks into the living room, watching the sofa whose back is turned to her.

Satoshi stayed the night. Images of crying and sniffling and heavy burdens flash in her mind; it took that much emotion before they started to tire. He claimed the sofa without another word and she retired to her own room, not bothering to kick him out of her apartment.

She starts cooking breakfast for two; rice and omelet and coffee because God knows she needs caffeine. The eggs haven't started frying yet when Satoshi finally stirs awake (she hears the shuffling in the background and a soft yawn that is all too familiar).

"Kinokuni-kun," he states. It sounds as if he's about to say something else, but decides against it. Nene knows that he was about to greet her good morning because if anything describes Satoshi; it's that he always had manners before anything else.

She continues cooking. The smell of coffee hits their noses first before it's mixed with steamed rice and the omelet. They stay like that for a while: silence with only the hissing of the stove and the whirring of the coffee maker. The atmosphere is strangely calm as if they weren't sobbing their souls out last night, as if they're two simple friends that spent the night here. Now, as she cooks their breakfast, she remembers their days during Totsuki when they shared coffee to finish the paper work of the Elite Ten, when she bested him once during a pseudo-Shokugeki (or he let her), when he once taught her how to skewer an eel in under three seconds, when—

She serves him his plate on the counter and the other plate beside him without another word.

"Kino—"

"I understand," she interjects before he can say something else and before she can convince herself not to say anything at all, "I understand why you didn't want to go through the marriage. It's not fair for either of us to be put on a position like that. We were too young and we were forced."

Something inside his cerulean eyes dance and she flinches internally because it's that exact shade of blue that haunted her last night. He doesn't part his mouth yet, knowing that she has something else to add.

"I understand," she breathes out, pauses carefully, and admits, "but I don't think I can forgive you yet."

His face crumples, but she thinks that something dashes across his features… hope, maybe? It doesn't matter because she notices something else: that his cerulean eyes do not look as blank or broken as yesterday, instead they're simply tired. She wonders if her eyes also mirror his.

"You came here for something else," she notes. She mumbles out a soft 'thanks for the food,' before digging in, registering the fact that Satoshi has followed her lead.

"You're as observant as ever," he replies before taking a spoonful for himself. There's a ghost of surprise in his face as he carefully chews the food. Still, he doesn't bother sharing his epiphany about her cooking because the next thing he admits is more important, "I have no place to stay."

Nene cannot help it; she lets out right after, " _Pfft_."

"I assure you, it's no laughing matter, Kinokuni-kun," Satoshi chides, but he's smiling as well. It's small and barely stretches, but it's there and she wonders if there's hope for them after all.

"Are you expecting a bed-and-breakfast here?" she asks, eyes shifting towards him. This is dangerous, she thinks, because she's still technically angry at him and he's still technically the person who left her in the altar. But he's also her closest friend and she was once the person he told everything to.

He reads her better than anyone else, which is why he says, "I don't think that's the best idea."

She sighs shakily. It's never easy between them; she never expected it to be, which is why she replies with, "I'm sure your budget allows you to stay in a hotel."

The way his lips part and his eyes flicker makes her think that maybe that's not the case.

Of course, before she can point it out, someone else knocks on her door.

Nene shuffles towards the _genkan_ where she hastily takes of her house slippers before she opens the front door.

"'Morning, Nene! Is Isshiki still here?"

It baffles Nene how Kobayashi Rindou is such a large personality that she basically cannot be ignored. Any time Rindou appears, every eye is on her and when she talks, every ear listens. Of course, being the personality she is, Rindou strolls in the apartment with no permission, leaving Nene to close the door by herself.

"Oh, Isshiki, _there_ you are!" Rindou cackles, slapping her underclassman on the back. She's grinning now, golden eyes twinkling and a blissful look on her face.

"Rindou-san," Nene interrupts, already walking up to the velvet-haired girl. She clears her throat and, with narrowed ruby eyes, she accuses, "How did you know Isshiki would be here?"

Rindou seems generally unfazed. She admits, "Oh, he was that person I had to see yesterday. He wanted to know where you live and I told him."

The explanation clears up many things.

"Ah, Rindou-san," Satoshi gently says. His eyes are closed now, upturned and tightly shut. A single soft smile adorns his face, and it's this façade that Nene had put on top of her list on why she hates Isshiki Satoshi. It's an involuntary reaction, for Satoshi to pull such a carefree look. Nene thinks it's disingenuous and barely scrapes the bottom of his personality. Still, he continues with the same face and the same tone, "I'd appreciate if you don't bring that up."

Rindou pouts but shrugs and Nene wonders if there's another topic they touched on yesterday. Their senior notices the unfinished plate on the counter and, with a grin, she eats it.

"That's my breakfast, Rindou-san," Nene says bluntly, but she knows whatever she says is meaningless to a person like Kobayashi Rindou.

"So, are you two okay now?" Rindou drawls out, confirming Nene's thoughts, and tells them in between bites, "Because it would be great if you started living together since Isshiki's broke and all."

Satoshi looks pained. Nene jumps on this wagon immediately before he can deny anything, "What are you talking about, Rindou-san?"

"Hm? Oh, his farm hasn't been doing well, and since he's invested a lot for it: he doesn't have a lot of money left," Rindou answers casually. But her eyebrows furrow and she looks back at Satoshi to ask, "I thought you told her? I specifically said that you should tell her."

Satoshi refuses to speak and he's showing off his unsteady eyes now, running a hand through his hair but not doing much to mess it up.

Nene's throat feels dry and her tongue heavy; she's not able to speak.

"Oh, crap, maybe I shouldn't have said that."

* * *

"So, that's it?!" Nene's full-blown shouting now. Rindou's already occupied the sofa, twiddling her thumbs together with a worried look on her face. Satoshi, meanwhile, is still sitting by the counter with a frown on his face and an emotion akin to fear flickering in his eyes.

"You come barging in here just to _use_ me?" Nene cries out. Her eyes are dry this time, because she's decided that she's not shedding any more tears for him.

"It's not like that," he responds, pain clinging on his face.

"It's _exactly_ like that," she presses, glaring at him and her tone accusatory. "You apologized to me just so you can freeload in my apartment!"

He winces, and she assumes that it's the guilt that breaks him.

"All right, all right," Rindou steps in reluctantly. She's standing between them now, golden eyes frantically switching between the two, and speaks, "Isshiki really did come here to apologize to you. _I_ was the one who suggested that he tell you about his financial situation because I know you'll agree that he can live with you."

"What do you know about me, Rindou-san?" Nene says coldly, arms crossed above her chest. "About _us_?"

Rindou doesn't seem a bit bothered by the tenacity of her statement, if at all. Instead, she replies earnestly, "I know that he's still your best friend even after your fiasco of an arranged marriage. I know that Isshiki's been reaching out to me, pleading me for _days_ to tell him where you live so he can properly apologize. I shouldn't have helped him maybe, but he's _really_ sincere about this at least because I _know_ you're too important for him to let go!"

Her two underclassmen do not try to answer at all.

"Nene," Rindou calls and the said girl reluctantly looks back at her. She hasn't seen the golden eyes shine with such ferocity as it does right now. "You're the only one in this city he can turn to, hell; you're the only one in this _world_ he can turn to. Maybe I'm being too pushy, but—"

"Rindou-san, I think that's enough." Satoshi interjects intensely. His eyes are blank again, his voice a deeper octave than normal. They search through Nene, trying to look for something that's probably not there. Finally, he says with utmost sincerity (is this what Rindou was talking about earlier?), "I'm truly sorry about all this, Kinokuni-kun, I didn't mean to let you think that I was using you. Rindou-san is right: I only came here to say sorry. And... thank you for your hospitality."

He bows to her before leaving and she can only grasp the relief flooding in her veins.

* * *

 **a/n: wow, thank you for your support! I love each and one of you:) Anyway, to respond some of the questions: Intangibly Yours: yep! this fic is set about two years after they've graduated in Totsuki. book14reader: i love your analysis on the prev chap! of course, i don't want to spoil much but yes, as proven by this chap, it was an arranged marriage. To the rest of the reviewers: im glad you enjoyed this story:) hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.**


	3. crashed apartment

**dishonorable**

* * *

Nene struggles to speak, but Rindou can easily voice out her concerns, "Well that was a surprising turn of events."

Rindou turns to her underclassman, a rare small sad smile on her face. Of course, only Kobayashi Rindou herself can lighten anything serious. Humming, as if regretfully, she comments, "I think you should go to him. Hear his side of the story."

Nene steels herself, closing her eyes and breathing through her nose, before finally managing to croak out, "I've heard enough."

The red-haired woman eyes her contemplatively, nodding a bit to herself, and then relenting, "Okay, I understand that you must be feeling angry towards him—"

She's silenced with a glare. Rindou answers back with a challenging look of her own.

"Why are you insisting that I make up with him? He chose his own way and I chose mine. _End_ of discussion," Nene seethes. She doesn't want to hear anything more. It's too complicated; most things these days are, and she has always been simple and traditional.

Rindou leaves a few minutes later and Nene has a sinking feeling that this is not the end of the discussion.

* * *

The harsh blow of the crisp autumn wind causes Nene's hair to dishevel. She, of course, frowns as she clutches the hardbound book across her chest. She dislikes cold weather—or anything cold actually, because it reminds her of a memory long ago, of a certain red-haired boy and his certain victory that left her suffering in her defeat.

In a few weeks time, she guesses mostly to herself, the entire greenery around her would turn into a rainbow of oranges, reds, and browns. She dislikes this also, because leaves that fall down create a mess on the ground and, God forbid, she cleans up anymore messes.

"Ah, Kinokuni-san," someone perks from behind.

The said person turns slowly, as if she cannot be bothered (which she cannot really, because she needs to go to her next class and this heathen is making her more late as it is). Nene sees a smaller woman in front of her with short fluffy brown hair and blossoming cheeks. She tries hard not to scowl, but she does anyway, "What do you need, Haruna?"

"I just, uh," Haruna stumbles, turning pink with each passing syllable. She continues with quick blinking eyes, "I wanted to invite you to my birthday party tonight. It's just a simple get-together in a nearby bar, you know? Are you, uh, free?"

Nene dislikes this as well. She doesn't like get-togethers or drinking or anything that involves her classmates outside academics. She prides herself for not being like the others: partying when there are no classes, sneaking out late in the night, or even drinking until they see only stars. Being here, alone, in a metropolitan city like Tokyo means more responsibilities. Nene likes to think that responsibilities molded her to be the woman that she is now.

"I don't want to," she answers automatically. As usual, her ruby eyes are stone cold, her chin jutted upwards, and her mouth pressed into a fine thin line. It startles Haruna for a moment, but Haruna, as Nene has figured out, is someone who considers everyone a friend. Therefore, every friend of hers absolutely deserves her help.

It doesn't surprise Nene when Haruna's not undeterred: "Oh, _please_ , Kinokuni-san. For the past few days, you've looked so high-strung. You need to rewind a little; just this once!"

Nene shakes her head firmly, a bit speechless. Is her mood really that noticeable? She's usually so calm and composed—her own family cannot discern themselves if she is in a good or bad mood. Maybe all the events that happened this week broke her, but Nene likes to think that anything that's associated with him does not affect her.

Haruna pleads even more still, "Just come by okay? Even for a few minutes! I'll guarantee that you'll have a great time!"

"Haruna—"

"I'll pick you up after your last class!"

Nene feels a bit sick as the smaller woman drifts away; since when did she know Nene's schedule?

* * *

True to Haruna's words, she swings by a minute right after the bell rings.

Nene wants to roll her eyes but calmly walks along with her on the hallway. She settles for a scowl and a harsh comment (but isn't she always like that?), "I told you I didn't want to come."

"And I understand that," Haruna says, "What you don't understand is that I'm a _very_ persuasive person. I tried not to bother you in all these months, but today I'm inclined to show you a good time."

A good time did not translate well to Nene. Drinking alcoholic beverages never appealed to Nene. Sprits, beer, or even _sake_ were all just ingredients for her; she used it for her dishes, never for a 'good time.' All of her experience in drinking consists of a sip and then dowsing it on the boiling shellfish she bought during her time in Totsuki. Essence precedes existence, so does the bird sings.

"You don't have to do that," Nene replies, a frown etching on her usual stoic face. It wrinkles the perfect skin that she's prided herself for, messes up the contempt straight line her mouth has always stayed in. Maybe Haruna is right—Nene's losing her edge lately.

"I don't," Haruna agrees, "but I _want_ to. So, let's go! My friends will be meeting us in the karaoke bar just down the street."

Nene glares at her and accuses, "You said it was a simple get-together."

"Well, yeah," Haruna hums, a awful glint in her eye and her mouth upturned to a simple smile, "but it's not a party without some karaoke!"

Goddamnit, Nene thinks to herself, it even rhymes.

Before the ashy green haired girl can even _think_ about escaping, Nene feels Haruna latching her arms around her left firmly. Now, it's not to say Nene is not weak because she certainly can take of herself (she once was able to fight off a robber by applying what she was taught in Judo and quickly grabbing his arm and throwing him over her back), but it's the way Haruna's smile unsettles her, wrapping around her neck and telling her to _please please come_ that Nene unfortunately relents.

She lets herself be dragged to the karaoke bar because apparently her dignity's already shredded to the point of that. It's a one-story building, mashed along the road with a neon pink sign and people flocking inside occasionally. The walls are made of glass, but it's stained so that no outsiders can see what's inside it. Nene can immediately tell that her night will not go as planned.

"I change my mind," Nene half-protests.

It falls onto deaf ears as Haruna quickly ushers her inside. The inside is worse than she imagined: glossy walls, linoleum walls, speakers that feel as if they're right next to her, and a huge gathering smack at the middle. Nene feels dizzy as they weave through the crowd, watching how, door after door, people are clamming in with giggles and hearty laughs. She's convinced she has entered the seventh circle of hell.

Her heart drops to her stomach as she sees a familiar orange wavy hair, but she refuses to look back to believe it's true. Instead, she focuses on Haruna and the way the smaller woman's eyes glint with horror. Nene realizes that focusing on the brown-haired woman is even worse.

They stumble into a well-lit room with cozy looking couches and a long wooden table in between. The table's already littered with half-empty bottles and buckets of ice water. She thinks she can smell cigarettes and another unexplained substance, but she doesn't want to dive right into that. There's a small group of people already inside, mostly girls with obvious intentions and boys with drunken eyes, and Nene's already itching to get away. Haruna's arm, however, stays planted on hers.

"Hey, this is Kinokuni-san; she's the one I was talking about," Haruna introduces. Nene narrows her eyes on her and she can already see the red flags waving frantically around inside this room.

"I don't think—" she quickly says, but she can feel another person's arm around her, breath heavy and stinking with liquor.

"She's _really_ cute," the person comments. She turns her head and finds a bubbly pink haired girl, slurring at the last syllable and gripping on her shoulder tightly. Nene has the urge to gag and vomit, but she hasn't eaten since lunch and so she's not sure if she has anything in her stomach to throw at them.

Nene decides that this will be the last time she sees Haruna.

"Come, come," another girl pipes from the couch, "Plenty of drinks all around!"

She reluctantly sits down with the bubbly pink haired girl. Nene's glad the girl's already keeping her arms to herself. Haruna, meanwhile, sits just across from them, immediately chatting up the person that she's beside with.

"Hey, hey, drink with us," the same girl chimes, handing her a bottle of opened beer.

"Where the hell is the songbook?" another girl screeches from behind.

Nene is even dizzier than when she first entered. Everyone's talking all at once and, as the song on the machine starts, she can hardly feel her eardrums. It's suffocating, this type of situation, and she can only glare with such little intensity at the girl who keeps insisting for her to drink.

"Come _on_ ," she whines.

Nene shakes her head, tries to push her away, tries to get up from her seat, but there's already a clammy hand on her shoulder and it sends every scary chill she can possibly feel up to her spine. She needs to get out of here.

The girl pushes the drink to her lips and Nene barely misses, but a drop of it lands on her mouth and she can taste the bitterness of everything and that same everything just stops for a moment.

Right on the girl's lap, she vomits.

"Agh! You _bitch!_ "

"Holy crap."

She feels someone pushing her put of the door, but she's too dizzy to care, too nauseous to actually understand what's happening. Nene regrets ever talking to Haruna, regrets how she lets her borrow a pencil, regrets not shutting her idea down completely this morning. She wonders briefly what they'll do to her; kick her? beat her? do every nasty little thing that happens to nasty little girls like her? But she can only feel the bile of grief and bitterness coming up her throat and then she refuses to think at all.

But something's happening, she thinks, she doesn't feel as if they're punching her. She feels nothing at all.

Soon, she blacks out and remembers nothing at all.

* * *

She dreams of cerulean eyes and strong hands that night, rubbing her shoulder and wrapping her hand. She dreams of a silent sea before the rain, with foggy gray skies and a shudder in the wind. She dreams of cold waters hitting her feet and unfulfilling sand between her fingers. It's dull and gray in her dreams tonight.

* * *

Nene opens her eyes as the sun settles on it.

She doesn't think for a moment as she stares up at the ceiling, and then it hits her all at once.

When she frantically sits up and looks around, Nene notices that she's in her bedroom. She checks her clothes and it's the same outfit she wore the day before. She checks the bag at the corner of her bed and it contains the same items she's sure she put there. Nothing's out of the ordinary, but she feels as if everything's changed.

She understands when she walks out of her room and finds him on her couch, reading a tattered book with an eerie silence in his eyes.

"What are you doing here, Isshiki?" she bites, but it's raspy and sickly and she wants to die with humiliation. She coughs to get the phlegm out but it doesn't go away.

He looks up from the book, cerulean eyes scanning hers, lips pressed into a thin line. He's hesitating speaking at all, but it's Nene and she's the only person he hates to anger. He puts down his book on the coffee table, Nene zeroing on his action before quickly focusing on him, and Satoshi replies gently, "I saw you at a karaoke bar yesterday."

She nods, swallowing but the phlegm doesn't go away. Nene points out, "It doesn't answer my question."

"Someone was about to slap you, but I stopped them. I took you to your apartment and tucked you into bed. I simply stayed here so I can make sure you're okay," he breathes, explaining so gently and so calmly that it feels as if he's simply lecturing her on what happened, not accounting the fact that he practically saved her life.

She breathes shakily and she's unraveling right now in front of him to see, but it's Satoshi and she's sure he's never cared.

"Why?"

He looks at her with such intensity that she regrets even asking.

"Let me pour you some tea," he replies instead.

She hates herself for agreeing, but he's the friendliest face she's seen all week despite the fact he's also the reason for her sorrow this past year. Still, she takes his offer and he gives her a small smile, barely lighting up his eyes, barely even shifting his face, but it's there and she hates how it's the most hopeful she's felt these past few months.

Maybe she just has low standards.

* * *

 **a/n: im so sorry you had to wait this long for such a short chapter. ill try to speed the next one. thanks for enjoying my work! see you on the next chapter!**


	4. lost feelings

**ruin**

* * *

It's been two hours and one of them has yet to strike up a conversation.

She usually loves silences, no matter how awkward it is, but this silence is beyond her capabilities. The chattering of the television is the only thing drifting between their ears, along with the slow traffic outside her apartment complex, the slow steaming of the kettle right behind them, and the quiet whirring of the refrigerator from the kitchen right at the back of her living room. It's strange (like coincidence or fate) how they're together right now and how it's the most anxious Nene has been for weeks.

Satoshi finally manages to say something, "What are you thinking right now?"

Nene thinks a lot of things. She thinks of algebra and theorems, thinks of her grades and the piles of paper she has to submit to get the best score, thinks of her family and, of course, her mother who keeps calling her whenever she misses her, thinks of missed opportunities and second chances or the list of things she dislikes. At that particular moment, however, she can only think about Satoshi and their awkward silence, all the words unsaid, and the glances that said more.

"You," she says so curtly that she surprises herself at how unabashed it was.

He's not though, as if he's expected that answer, and she thinks it's just as fate has written.

"Hm," he hums appreciatively, "that's not a good thing to be thinking about."

"Believe me," she snorts, already feeling a mouthful of distaste swarming in her throat as she remembers everything's he has done over the past few days, "I know."

He regards her sorrowfully, maybe even regretfully, before sighing, "I'm sorry."

"You've said that before," she notes, also noting the fact that his shoulders are slumped forward, his eyes haven't closed in the time she's spent with him, and the fact that fatigue is already written in the droop of his eyelids or in the stammering of his fingers. Pity pushes up in her eyes.

"Because I truly am," Satoshi replies instantly, eyes perking up to hers, scanning and skimming. She feels goose bumps trail down her arm because she does not doubt that he'll find what he's trying to look for.

"I..." Nene swallows for a moment, trying to gain momentum at what she's about to say because there's a huge part of her that's saying not to do it. But it feels _right_ and, ergo, she should. She inhales softly before admitting, "Thank you for saving me."

He's about to speak but Nene doesn't give him the satisfaction. She instantly cuts him, "I also want to say sorry for being over dramatic the last time we met."

He looks pained, as if he's not expecting her to apologize. He says indignantly, "You were in the right. If it was me, I would have felt used too."

That's true, she echoes in her mind, she deserves to be hurt and lost but it's already been a year and all she's been feeling is hurt and lost. She wants to grasp on to new emotions. Her apology doesn't wash the grimy pain away or rinse out the dirty heartache, but there's a humming in her heart and she muses to herself that she isn't that lost anymore. She decides that it's better than nothing.

"Kinokuni-san," Satoshi asserts, already she sees him struggle for a brief moment when he turns to her, "you shouldn't be sorry for what you did. You didn't overreact and I should have left before you woke up."

"Why didn't you?" Nene asks simply, hands intertwined together on her lap.

He doesn't speak and she waits because she feels that she has a right to know. Satoshi looks at the coffee table in front of them longer than necessary, and she understands that he's hesitant. But he manages after to sigh through his nose, glance back at her, and admit, "I wanted to see you again."

The worst part of all of this is that he doesn't look embarrassed about it. His cerulean eyes twinkle with intensity, his mouth tight on his face, his jaw gritted up as if preparing for a fight. There is a certain urgency in his energy, a certain honesty in his answer, and she almost turns her head away at the fieriness of his emotions. She congratulates herself when she doesn't.

Finally, the kettle whistles behind them.

Nene scrambles to the kitchen. She doesn't want to look at him right this moment, doesn't want to see what his eyes would tell; instead she focuses on pouring the tea into their respective cups. She stumbles for a moment as the tea pours down, warming the ceramic that they're put in. Satoshi also does not speak in the background, and for that she's glad.

She lifts the two cups and carefully places them on the coffee table.

When Nene looks up, she notices a quaint smile settling on his face. She wants to wipe it away, but she settles with asking in an annoyed tone, "What?"

It does not affect him as much as she liked. Instead, Satoshi gently says, "You're home looks a bit Western."

To any other person, it seems like a natural comment, a passing remark, an icebreaker so they may continue their conversation. To Nene, it's him understanding her current way of life, sneaking a peek in her mind, knowing exactly why her apartment is far from the traditional design she's used to ever since she was born.

She scowls at him, eyes narrowing at the dangerous curve of his mouth. She huffs, turning to face the table in front of them, still with the same scowl on her face, "Shut up."

From the corner of her eye, she sees him grin, fuller this time, reaching all the way to his eyes and to his eyebrows. If possible, the fleeting joy extends to his hair, the orange strands somehow dancing side by side. Instead of marveling at his sudden happiness, she chooses to take her cup and sip it carefully, avoiding burning her tongue.

As if in a spell, the whole emotion drops. He looks over to his cup, eyes dangerously low, before telling her gently, "I suppose you're not the only one who's outgrown tradition."

It strikes her as odd for him to say this and it fills her up with even more questions than before. What does he mean by that? Is he not living with his family anymore like she is? Why _did_ Rindou claim that he was broke? Why is he here, in Tokyo of all places, and unemployed no less? Questions upon questions, and Nene feels that somehow his family is the main player in all of these.

She asks him directly, finding no use to delay the answers to her questions, "What happened with you and your family?"

He flinches and she's somewhat glad that she's right on her guess. The other half feels pity at the sorrow nestling inside his cerulean eyes.

"Well," he starts hesitantly, eyes carefully analyzing the crevices of her face, as if he's trying to take in every detail of her in so little time. "I'm not living with them anymore."

"Why is that?" she prompts, ruby eyes glaring at him pointedly as if telling him to spit it out or else.

"Because I didn't go through with the marriage," he states. They momentarily stay silent before he explains further, "They kicked me out."

Nene's tongue feels like lead. She realizes just how grave his situation is, and now realizes why his posture is sagging, why his face is just tired, why his cerulean eyes have been so blank. Chills crawl up her spine as she thinks of scenarios from the past year; eyes downcast, hands calloused, trying to live without the support of his family, without their warmth, cooking and cooking with no passion towards the food, towards life in general, towards himself. She thinks she's looking at a mirror, and comes to terms that the falling out of their marriage hasn't just affected her.

"How…?" she whispers, voice cracking towards the end. But the way his eyes land on her forlornly, she can already pinpoint the answers.

She doesn't know how, but her hand finds his arm, softly grasping it as if worried that it might break. There's pity in her eyes that she can't quite express, and there's brokenness in his that he can never tell. It's heartbreaking to her, and she decides that maybe this time she wants to heal with him.

* * *

Strangely, they quickly fall into a steady rhythm in the following weeks.

Nene wakes up at six in the morning, Satoshi wakes up much later. She cooks them breakfast, Satoshi cooks for dinnertime. Usually it's Satoshi who happily talks her ear off, chatting about his lonesome travels along Japan, visiting his underclassmen from the Polar Star Dormitory. There are days, however, when it's Nene who decides to complain about her professors and the ungodly amount of homework she gets put through. It's a comforting fact, at least to Nene, that when she gets back, she has a familiar face to vent to.

It's too quick, she decides, for them to be so familiar with each other but they are. She learns that he prefers his eggs sunny-side up, prefers his coffee with an unsettling amount of milk, cooks their meals that always come with soups, and, most unfortunately, loves to ramp around the apartment with his bare ass for the world to see. And despite Nene's disapproval and threats to kick him out if he continues doing this, Satoshi seems to be unfazed with anything she says.

Soon as well, she memorizes the way his face drops if he's disappointed, how his cerulean eyes turn stormy if he's angered, how his wrinkles from underneath his eyes show when he smiles. She memorizes his daily habits; how he ties his shoelaces with incredible attention, how he never forgets to wear his leather-strapped wristwatch, how he leaves one button unbuttoned when wearing pastel-colored shirts, how he smiles involuntarily whenever she thinks he's being an idiot.

On weekends they do the laundry. She spins them in the washing machine while he hangs them up in the balcony. Sometimes they clean the house, other times they stay in the couch to drink tea and watch game shows that they discovered one day and never changed the channel again. He likes to tease her about the lack of _shoji_ in her apartment or the lack of shrines, while she bites back by claiming that he's still unemployed and lacks decency to put any clothes on.

Almost one month in, Satoshi finally gets a job. Elated, he shows off that he's a sous chef in a three-star restaurant near her university while she surprises him by baking little vanilla cupcakes that she learned from Akanegakubo Momo. Satoshi claims that they're the best cupcakes he ever had while Nene profusely denies it, a growing blush spreading across her cheeks.

"You're too humble," Satoshi laughs gently after she said that all credits go to Momo.

"You're too naïve," Nene quickly fires back. She crosses her arms across her chest, looking angry, but the big blush on her face and the rapid beating of her heart tells her otherwise.

Satoshi, Nene gradually notices, has also been studying her over the past few weeks. When Nene has to study for a test, he's extra careful to not make any noise. When Nene looks tired, having stayed up all night because of a project, he prepares her tea without a lot of noise, serving to her once she notices. When Nene finally finishes a particularly hard assignment, he celebrates with her with movies and baked pastries. She's grateful, of course, and he's simply just glad to help.

His presence fills the apartment as well. Before him, Nene's apartment is a simple decorated one with not a lot of decorations and personal items. As he becomes more prominent in her life, Satoshi leaves bits and pieces of his soul in the apartment. By the balcony, he grows rosemary, thyme, and lemongrass, all of which he tends to carefully. On top of the coffee table, there is a cute ensemble of little cacti that he proudly boasted of haggling from the market. There are also potted plants everywhere; beside the couch, inside the bathroom, on top of the kitchen counter, right beside the doorway, and she suspects there are a dozen of others inside his room. Her bedroom, however, has none of his touches. When he showers, she catches a whiff of his strong scent: musky and the smell of earth. Even if she's locked up in her room, buried neck-deep into her studies, she hears his breathy laughter, first approaching his throat before emerging from his mouth, deep and husky, safe and warm. Oftentimes, his clothes litter around the apartment, and she finds his underwear in places she'd never thought it would appear in. And, even after extensive lectures and inhumane threats, she will be the one who finds his clothes again the next day.

They follow a rhythm, she decides. Soon enough, she wonders why she hasn't thought of having a roommate before and the answer to the question is always— _because it won't be him_.

It's the third month of him in her apartment, and she flinches when her mother calls from home to bring terrible news:

"We'll be visiting next week!"

She glances at Satoshi in the couch, nibbling on _soba_ while religiously watching a variety show, cerulean eyes deep in thought and his jacket thrown carelessly beside him.

"That's great, mom."

Finally, he tears his eyes away from the television and instead watches her, eyebrows somewhat furrowed but his mouth still carries a breezy smile. There's a stuttering in her heart as she shakes her head to assure that everything's okay. He follows it up with a thumbs-up, fingers unusually long and brittle, and a sudden brightness on his face. She decides that maybe this is what it feels like to forgive.

* * *

 **a/n: im baaack. thank you for all the reviews. it really means a lot to me:) im sorry this chapter took so long. anyway, looks like nene's family is visiting her. does it mean trouble for satoshi and nene?**


	5. unexpected visits

**outburst**

* * *

Satoshi's first instinct when Nene says, 'mama,' is to flinch.

"Are you all right?" Nene asks tentatively, eyeing the way Satoshi blinks his eyes in fast beats, the way his fingers twitch, and the way his whole face drops for a millisecond before picking itself back up. He doesn't speak for a moment, so Nene prompts again, "Isshiki?"

"I'm fine," he assures. He fixes his posture and suddenly he's not so nervous, he's quiet, calculating, and there's hardness in eyes. His cerulean eyes find its way to her as he asks, "What are we going to do?"

"Well," she starts, "I was thinking that maybe you can rent a hotel for the night."

Satoshi frowns, conflict resting in his eyes, and Nene feels she's disappointed him somehow. However, he nods quickly right after and agrees, "All right."

Nene feels she should add that, "I'll pay for it."

Satoshi shakes his head and says, "No, you don't have to do that. I can crash at my co-worker's place."

Even if he says it as a fact, so casually and so coolly, Nene cannot help but hear a twinge of sadness in his tone, in his eyes, in the way he drums his fingers on his knees. He looks contemplative, serious, and it's nerve-racking for Nene (or for anyone, really) to see someone who's always been smiling turn their mouth upside down. Maybe it is this reason why she feels suddenly nervous.

"Well, uh, okay," she stammers out. It's so unlike her, and it's so unlike him. She's serious and contemplative, he's aloof and emotional; but they've suddenly switched places and she feels so out of place.

"It'll be all right, Kinokuni-kun," he assures, a grin solidifying on his face. It feels real, but Nene can tell that it's forced. She hates and yet is glad that she can read him like that.

Nene nods; she can't trust herself enough to speak in that moment.

"So, I suppose I should hide my stuff in your room?" he prompts, closing his eyes once more.

Her mother, her aunt, and her cousins arrive at noon. Their smiles are wide and cheery as they survey the whole apartment with judging eyes. It's most prominent with her aunt, whose beady dark eyes shrink at the lack of _tatami_ mats and of shrines or even _shouji_. Her cousins, like her, have been raised in wooden floors and high ceilings, so their reactions are more uncomfortable than criticizing. Her mother's gaze is the one who strikes a nerve in her; they're filled with disappointment.

"Oh, Nene, I missed you so much!" her mother wails, hugging and kissing and clutching her only daughter. Nene feels contempt and heaviness in the hug rather than love and affection. It seems her mother may not as be as supportive in her decision to move as she thought.

"I missed you too, mother," Nene replies as warm as she can. As she leans over to her mother's neck, she sniffs flour, garlic, and the steaming broth of the soba noodles. She smells familiarity, her legacy as a Kinokuni and her eventual position in the family. These notions do not scare her as much as it had before. It's already cemented, there's no use denying it.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise?" her aunt comments from the corner. "I didn't know you liked plants so much Nene; it's like a forest in here!"

Her mother giggles as well as she pushes herself from her daughter. She's laughing heartily as she agrees, "I never realized you'd have another hobby besides _soba_!"

Nene gazes at the greenery in her apartment. She feels somewhat sick: is it such a laughing matter that a person likes to tend to plants? Is it such an abnormal thing to have more than three plants in an apartment? She wants to scowl at them, but—why exactly does she want to?

"I just picked it up from a friend of mine," Nene explains.

"Well, as much as I love plants; gardening was never really our family's thing," her mother admits. "I'm glad you picked up a new skill."

Nene nods since her throat closed up. While she did learn plenty from Satoshi's endless babbles, she never truly understood what he was saying. It's partly because she's simply amazed at how his eyes lit up whenever he talks about his plants. She finds herself swooning, leeching off at the passion that he oozes, and wondering how his lips are still so plump and wet even after hours of talking—

"Anyway, darling, won't you treat us to a cup of tea?" her aunt asks.

She does. Her cousins help her, but the task is not enough for her cheeks to die down from its reddish glow.

* * *

"Oh! And she gave her four dumplings! What a misfortune," her aunt continues on with her story. Nene has always admired her aunt because of her expressiveness. Wide eyes and jaw agape, her hands rising and falling as they match the vivid intensity of their owner's tales, it's all somewhat reminiscing of a show.

"That's a distress," her mother quips as she pours another batch of tea for herself. "And right before the wedding day itself. Everyone seems to have such unlucky marriages recently."

Nene avoids eye contact, focusing instead on the crumbling biscuits inside her tea cup.

"Speaking of weddings," her aunt pipes up once again, the rollercoaster of emotions ready to drop from her face, "I heard that the eldest of the Isshiki clan is getting married."

Nene can feel something click inside her mother.

"Oh," it comes out strained and forced. The way her mother's eyes flash briefly towards her daughter suffocates Nene more than it should. "Is that so?"

"He's from the Hojo Clan, I believe," her aunt explains. "I hope that this wedding goes without a snitch this time."

"Well, the Isshiki are known for breaking promises," her mother shrugs while Nene tenses. "But I suppose I'm just glad they're done with that boy."

Nene freezes.

"Y-you knew that Isshiki was abandoned by his family, mother?" Nene sputters out in disbelief. Her ruby eyes flame dangerously as they dart from the two older ladies. Both her mother and aunt stare back at her with questioning looks, but Nene thinks that they're not supposed to look so surprised.

"Well, yes," her mother replies with a frown. "Why are you so disturbed?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nene asks.

It's her aunt who answers this time, eyebrows raised and nose twitching perpetually, "We didn't think you'd care. He _did_ leave you at the altar, for goodness' sake!"

Nene hisses. There's a surge of protectiveness in her heart as she thinks about Satoshi who's been through so much. She hates that every time she blinks, she sees him travelling aimlessly without the support of his family, transferring from place to place with threats to his employment, all because he refused to be forced into a loveless marriage. She finally fixes that scowl on her face and adamantly exclaims, "That doesn't matter! He was abandoned by his own family! Do you even know how much that hurts?"

"Nene, what has gotten into you?" her mother barks. "You shouldn't be defending such a cowardly person! He _left_ you."

That doesn't matter anymore; Nene desperately mewls in her thoughts. It doesn't matter that he left her because he came back anyway.

"He's not a coward," she mumbles out.

She's not sure who speaks, but she has a vague feeling that it's her aunt, "Oh, Nene, please mull it over. That man is barely a man for not following through his promise. It's not a surprise that he's been dropped from the prestigious Isshiki Clan."

"Satoshi's _not_ a coward!" Nene exclaims hotly.

They sit for a few moments in stunned silence.

"I'm sorry, mother," she finally mutters, fists shaking uncontrollably. There's a sniffle that's threatening to burst out, but she's never cried since last year and she's not about to stop now. "I really need to go."

* * *

She arrives at the address Satoshi gives her.

She barely manages to rap at the door when it swings open, an astonished Satoshi appearing from the inside.

"I'm so sorry, Satoshi," Nene cries out, eyes tearing at the sides. The next are a series of incomprehensible sniffles, "So sorry… you're…family."

Satoshi doesn't hesitate wrapping his arms around her. He whispers into her hair, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Nene."

And they stayed like that. Nene thinks it's the safest she's ever felt.

* * *

 **a/n: im so sorry that you had to wait for so long for such a short chapter. this story should be nearing it's ending soon so keep a lookout for that!**


	6. unspoken truths

**uncertainty**

* * *

They don't talk much, but it's only because Nene doesn't know how to start the conversation.

The most they've talked about was if Nene wanted tea (the obvious answer was yes), and if everything was all right (the answer was not obvious here). And while Satoshi busies himself with the tea and to give her a proper blanket since she looked freezing, Nene's fiddling with her thumbs, eyes switching from the dirty clothes in the corner, to the turned off television in front of her. She cannot sniff out the usual flowery and earthy scent inside this apartment and it only makes her unsteady.

"Here's your tea, Kinokuni-san," Satoshi speaks, resting the tea cup on the low table in front of her.

"Thank you," she says promptly, because even if she's grimacing inside, her parents have raised a lady and, as a lady, she must be grateful at all times.

"Is your mother doing all right?" Satoshi asks, setting down a cup of tea for himself.

She flinches, Satoshi mutters a quick apology, but she shakes her head to say that it's okay. She thinks of her mother, still standing upright when Nene left, eyes pointed and narrowed, probably feeling a bit betrayed yet still assured that Nene would come back like the good child that she is. Her mother's unfortunately right—Nene was raised to be an obedient child.

"Do you want some pastries? There's a bakery down the street—"

"Isshiki, was it hard being alone?"

The question is vague, the context even vaguer, but he's Satoshi. It's strange, but he knows what she's talking about. He pauses for a while, and Nene imagines that he's thinking of harsh winters that bite your skin, or maybe of dead harvests that crumble in his touch, or the nagging feeling in his brain that no one in his family wants to do anything with him anymore. Nene closes her eyes, because being disowned by her family is something she never wants to imagine.

"You're a family-centered person, Kinokuni-san," Satoshi claims, "I know you think that you've made an independent decision by moving out here, but you're not really independent. There's still a big part of you which cannot help but be that reliable child. I was once like you. Even if I thought I had escaped my family while I was in Totsuki, I didn't really become independent.

"Being nameless around Japan, trying to scour for work to survive, I realized how much I depended on my name. But being able to survive on your own… it's a luxury few can afford in our type of family, Kinokuni-san. There's so much outside our duties, and you understand that, which is why you're here.

"But I don't think you're truly free, Kinokuni-san."

Nene thinks of her living room; so bland and so minimalistic. She's always been a simple girl, that's the go-to excuse of her mother, but the room didn't resemble anything like their traditional house—her mother probably thought that it had been disrespectful in a way and her aunt definitely had commented on it blindly. But she can't help but remember the surprise Satoshi nurtured when he fully gazed at her apartment and then the understanding and then the relief.

"You're right."

Satoshi eyes her carefully, the cerulean shade growing darker by the minute.

"Satoshi—let's leave."

* * *

Satoshi's been trying to tell her to drop the idea, but Nene cannot help but feel thrilled with it.

"I know I said that, Kinokuni-san, but running away isn't really the best solution," he tells her for the millionth time. She pretends not to hear anything as she hungrily checks at the map of Japan, pondering the advantages and disadvantages of living in a particular city.

"Would you prefer near the beach or transferring to another city? Hm, knowing you, Isshiki, you'd probably love the countryside…" Nene trails off. She thinks of rice paddies and harvesting, and although she chose to live in such an urbanized location, she cannot help but find living with Satoshi in a quiet and unbothered environment exciting.

"Kinokuni-san, I don't think this is right," Satoshi says plainly. His eyes worriedly watch Nene fidget with her phone, trying to find a suitable place to run away to. He sighs, "You took it the wrong way—running away from your family is not the way to go."

Nene sighs, finally dropping her phone on her lap. She glares at him with exasperation and asks, "Why aren't you supporting me with this? I get to be free." _I get to be with you._

"Being free doesn't mean hurting others." Satoshi warns. He grabs her hands to take away her phone, and it hurts Nene to feel the warmth that passes her when his hands graze hers. He then matches her eyes, and she's a bit stunned because it's the same stormy ocean that had haunted her dreams before. There's determination in his tone when he tells her, "You aren't a coward."

She feels her heart burst. It's flaming, rising up and down, and she feels as if it's getting larger inside her chest, almost suffocating and consuming her. But it's such a wonderful feeling as well, like watching the television on Sunday or exchanging stories at the end of a tiring day, the feeling of being accepted.

She's run out of her words, but she's able to offer a tight hug.

Satoshi hitches his breath against her neck and it leaves goose bumps at the back of her neck. There's hesitance in his movements, but he still wraps his arms around her waist gently. He doesn't try to pull her closer and leaves a space between them. It's too sudden, too unpredictable because Nene doesn't give hugs; much less give them twice in a day, but she has always been an unpredictable (or special) case.

"Thank you, Satoshi," she whispers near his earlobes. She can feel a slight shiver from him, and she revels in it for a moment because it's been so long since she witnessed him off guard. But then his body slacks and he's comfortable, and the hands that lay on her waist are more genuine now.

"Anything for you," he murmurs. Nene's not sure if she's supposed to hear that, but her heart releases another wave of happiness. So she pulls him even closer, their fronts finally bumping against one another and finally closing the gap between them. His body's warm against hers and, if she focuses enough, she can hear the pounding inside his chest. It makes her indescribably happy.

She briefly berates herself for only hugging him now because she's never been this peaceful, never been this contented, never been this… loved.

Ah, there's that damning word.

* * *

They fall asleep at the couch as well after another hour of soft voices and gentle gestures. Nene quickly dreams of another pair of cerulean eyes; calm and breezy. There's nothing but the wind that caresses her face and her heart that keeps on ringing in her eardrums. When the eyes speak, they're loving and husky and she feels as if she's never trusted anyone more.

"You're not a coward."

* * *

Eventually, the sun rises on the two. They're frozen on the couch; Nene snuggled up on his side while Satoshi's arm is secured on her waist. Nene's the first to wake up, fluttering her eyes open, and panicking for a moment because she's not in her apartment. She looks back at Satoshi with his pink lips partly opened and his small strands of hair covering part of his face. A swell of affection reaches her and she has to pry herself from his arm to stop her thoughts there.

She takes her phone and flinches at the amount of missed calls from her mother which she had not seen because her phone's on silent.

Nene decides she needs to see her mother. She thinks of the conversation last night, thinks of betrayals and cowardice, and also of hope and trust. She's not sure on what to say, but maybe if she sees her all the confusion would go away. She wants to wake up Satoshi, tell her to accompany him and be her rock, but she knows that this battle is meant only for her. Maybe she'll leave a thank you note or just text him when the worst is over.

She surveys his face for a moment; his eyes shut close in peaceful slumber, his cheeks pale from the lowered temperature, and his chest rises and then fall so painstakingly slowly. Nene's heart burst yet again at his peaceful expression. She's still confused even now of emotions and feelings, of attractions and affections, so she wouldn't know how to start dissecting what she really thinks of Satoshi, but she finds herself only grateful that he's right here for her.

The wedding suddenly seemed so long ago, as if it was another plane of existence. When she remembers herself in the bathtub or the days of depressions that followed right after, it's already a dull pain in her heart, nothing striking like before. Satoshi isn't just some person who had broke her heart when he left her in the altar, but someone who had been afraid and yet still gathered what he can to apologize.

"Thank you," Nene whispers.

Satoshi stirs in his sleep. He wakes up half an hour later to find Nene gone with only a small note on the table that repeated what she had just whispered.

* * *

 **a/n: wow i cant believe i updated. im so sorryyy. next chap is the last one so keep a look out on that. hope it'll be up in jan. merry christmas and happy new year!**


	7. stunning revelations

**finale**

* * *

Her mother stands erect like most mothers do; arms crossed, foot tapping harshly on the hard floor, eyebrows furrowed to the point it looks like a straight line, and eyes scarily narrowed, as if focused only on one thing. There's disappointment in her eyes, possibly hurt—Nene would know, she's festered those same emotions just last year.

"I'm sorry—" Nene starts, eyes darting from left to right.

"Where were _you_?" demands her mother. The sharpness and the urgency of the tone stab Nene right through her heart. With wide eyes, Nene looks back at her mother with a shaky intake of breath.

"I was at a friend's," she mumbles. Nene wants to look away from her mother's eyes, flinching at how they darken quickly, but she cannot. So, she stands rooted to her spot with her hands intertwined at her front, her shoulders slumped and her back hunched. She's scared, admittedly, because who isn't afraid of their own mothers? But there's certain nostalgia in her situation, and she's suddenly back in kindergarten in a somewhat same position but this time her mother's berating her about soba. Nene has come a long way from soba.

"Which _friend_?" her mother presses on. The ends of her lips are pulled down in a disapproving frown.

"It doesn't matter who, mother," Nene ushers. She tells her mother, instead, "What I want to say is that I'm sorry."

Her mother relaxes her face, letting go of her frown and slowly unknotting her eyebrows. She sighs and allows herself to untangle her arms from each other, instead choosing to place them low on her waist. Patiently, her mother grants Nene to speak with a nod.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice at you, especially in front of aunt," Nene speaks, she's trying to form her next sentence in mind, but it all seems to be clear and she doesn't think at all, "You must think I'm crazy for defending Satoshi and all. And I'm not saying that I'm a great judge of character but I swear that he's not who you think he is."

Her mother raises her eyebrow, her mouth already opening to comment, but Nene stops her by raising her own hand. Nene says in all seriousness, "But that's not what I came here to say."

Their eyes come together, challenging one another before her mother finally relents. She gestures with her hand towards the living room. At this specific moment, Nene can only be grateful because no matter how much Nene screws up, her mother has always been open. But, of course, tradition outranks anything else when making decisions. Nene respects that, but she's deciding for the first time that maybe it's not what she truly wants.

"Shall I make tea?" her mother asks.

When Nene drops the bomb—"Mother, I don't think I want to take over the restaurant,"—her mother looks more contemplative rather than surprised.

"I see," her mother solemnly says. Her hands are intertwined on her lap, back erect, but her eyes are downcast. It's unfair how regal her mother still is despite devastated, but that's expected from the Lady of a prestigious family. It's also expected from her only daughter and Nene was a complete carbon copy at one point in her life.

"Well, this is my fault for entertaining your crazy idea to move here," her mother states. She looks around the living room, regarding the comfy couch, the sudden influx of plants, and the lack of shrines or anything traditional with displeasure. "Your father and your aunt were, of course, against it. But I supported you because I figured you wanted a fresh environment, and I was also aware of your disappointment in your marriage.

"I was holding on to the belief that you would still come back to us, even if you look so happy here. I just didn't want to believe it," her mother sighs.

"I'm sorry, mother. Even I'm not sure what I really want to do with my life here, but I'm positive that I don't want to make _soba_ forever," Nene says, admitting what she's refused to admit for the past few years.

Her mother levels her eyes with Nene's. She weakly asks, "Are you sure you don't want to come back with us? To pass on the Kinokuni tradition?"

Nene thinks of flour and noodles, of endless tiring nights in the kitchen, of frustration and of a single recipe dictating her whole life. Then she thinks of the city, of differences and diversity, of how there were so many ingredients and so many produce, she thinks of endless problems and endless solutions. Most importantly, she thinks of Satoshi.

That cements her answer. "I'm sure, mother."

"Well," her mother has trouble swallowing the word, so the next one comes a bit garbled, "that's a bit unfortunate."

"I'm sorry," Nene immediately says, and regrets it. Because, really, Nene shouldn't feel sorry for wanting something else. She follows up with, "But I'd prefer something different."

Her mother nods, but even she cannot help but let out a shaky breath. She murmurs, "I don't know what would happen back home, but I know that I cannot let my only daughter live unhappy."

Nene swallows, nodding gratefully at her mother.

"But, let me ask you—has Isshiki Satoshi been living here?"

There's no other answer but yes.

"Well, that explains a lot," her mother sighs. "Isshiki Satoshi's not a good role model, Nene. He did leave you at the altar and, forgive me for saying this; it's karma that he's disowned by his family."

"He's learned from his mistakes, mother. He came here to apologize, and he was the one who encouraged me to come here and talk to you," Nene defends, her tone rising at the end. She feels her face grow hot, as well as her emotions and, unfortunately, her temper.

"I want to believe you, Nene, but he's done nothing but hurt you and I don't think you should be hanging around him any longer!"

"You don't know him like I do, mother. You haven't been here for the past few weeks—you haven't seen how much he's changed and how much he's taught me!"

Her mother purses her lips, while Nene's breathing heavily. Nene's just noticed now that she's inclined her head closer to her mother, her hands balled into fists on her lap, and that her toes are the only ones touching the floor. It's strange how fervent her emotions are, because she hasn't raised her tone like this since long ago and certainly not to her mother. She feels a bit light-headed, considering her sudden race in pulse, but she gives no heed to that. Still, she stares at her mother and waits.

Her mother's frozen, and it's unfair how she has barely moved from her place.

"I see," her mother finally says, breathing even and a cloud of disappointment hanging on her face, "you're in love with him."

Nene reels back. Her jaw drops in shock before her whole body turns red with embarrassment. She says, stuttering her defense, "U-uh no! He's _just_ a friend!"

Her mother smiles grimly. She replies, "Well, you're still in denial, obviously. But if you think he'll treat you right this time, then I shall give you two my blessing."

" _T-this time?!_ " Nene screeches.

* * *

Her family leaves her alone for good after a week.

Her mother has allowed her to keep her savings, just to get things started, and promises to continue paying for her college, and then pay her apartment for the meantime as she struggles to get a job to support her. The only request is to call back home at least once a month and to visit them during the holidays, Nene thinks that it's not a horrible bargain.

Of course what's bothering her is not her family at all, but someone a little closer to that.

"I think it's great your family was able to understand you, Nene," Satoshi's saying as he continues to water the calatheas in the kitchen, humming a little.

Nene, although nervous on the inside, is ever passive on the outside. She replies with a nonchalant shrug, "I suppose."

"And it's great that they agreed to let me live with you," he adds as an afterthought. "I would have thought that they would have freaked and kicked me out by now. What did you say to your mother?"

Nene cannot help but redden as she remembers vividly what happened. She hates that she stutters with her next time, "N-nothing in particular."

At this, Satoshi raises an eyebrow. He looks over to Nene who's washing the dishes with careful hands and places the watering can on the counter before completely facing her. He muses, "Nothing?"

"Yes, nothing," Nene dismisses. She's on the third plate now, and she's furiously scrubbing at something nonexistent, refusing to look back at him.

"Well, if you don't want to tell me…" he trails off, but still his eyes remain closed and his smile strangely upbeat.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Satoshi," Nene says hotly, "Finish watering your plants."

Satoshi shrugs in reply and continues finishing his work. He turns around and Nene finally lets out a soft exhale, because she's not ready to go down that road yet and sort out whatever feelings she really has for Satoshi. No, that's for another day.

* * *

As it turns out, another day comes just another week later when Nene's talking to her mother on the phone.

The conversation had started out normally ("How's school? Have you been cleaning your apartment?"), and her mother was in the middle of a story about how her father almost threw the desk out the window in rage, when suddenly she stopped.

Concerned, Nene asked, "Mother, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just going to add that he went livid especially after I mentioned Isshiki Satoshi was living with you. And I suddenly realized that I haven't asked about him yet; how is he?"

"He's fine. We're doing all right."

"Well, have you told him you love him yet?"

" _Mother!_ " Nene shushes, face already burning again.

"I assume you haven't yet. You should get on with it; you should know that prolonging it would make it worse," her mother chides.

"It's not like that, I swear!" Nene exclaims. She raises her chest and shoulders, ready to defend herself if need be.

"I find that hard to believe, Nene, considering how you looked when we were talking about him. You look like—"

"I'm not in love with him, mother!"

Nene imagines her mother shrugging, and she's about to comment on it but she hears someone behind her.

"You're not in love with whom?" and the voice is deep and so familiar. It feels like she's been caught by the police red-handed. Nene wishes it wasn't him but who else would be walking around in their apartment, eavesdropping in other people's conversations where he's sure he doesn't belong?

Nene quickly hangs up the phone and turns around. She gulps because Satoshi's donning his famous apron with nothing else on him. And, a few weeks ago, she would have scolded him and threaten to kick him out, but something has sifted and she can't help but notice his biceps and—oh God, have they always been that big?

"What?" Nene asks, trying to act as if she hasn't said anything incriminating.

"With the phone call, you said that you're not in love with 'him.' Who is he?" Satoshi prods. It's strange how his eyes aren't closed now, and Nene can clearly see the blue in his eyes. She should be used to it by now, but those eyes look a bit… hopeful?

"You must have misheard," she shakily laughs it off. But Nene never knew how to lie, and so he must have seen right through her.

"I haven't misheard that," he says. "Tell me."

And it's such a grave command. He says it with such authority, as if he's the president of the whole university and she's a mere student. There's tightness to his voice and it's on its way to breaking like a boy in puberty. But there's also the deepness of it all, and she's reminded that the person she's talking to is a man and everything's too serious for her.

"You don't have to know," Nene bites out because he really doesn't. Her mother might push her, but Nene's confused about everything involving emotions so she's not sure if she wants to sort it out yet.

"I want to know," Satoshi challenges.

"It's not that important," Nene retorts.

Satoshi levels with her eyes for a moment, taking her in. He then asks, "Well, what was the conversation about? Were you talking to your mother?"

Nene sighs and gives in. Maybe if she answers those questions he'll stop asking. She says, "Yes, and she's insisting that I love someone. But I don't even know anything about that so it really doesn't matter."

"Who was she referring to?"

"You don't have to know that."

"I want to know."

They stare at each other for a while, lips tight and eyes narrowed. Still, Nene's fairly sure that she's more stubborn and so she confidently stares him down. Satoshi has always been more of the empathy between them, so he's the one who'll shy away first.

But she doesn't expect the tone of his voice when he says, "Please?"

It's such a simple word, but it's heavy and it's pressuring her down. She feels its desperation, the weakness, and how he's saying everything in it but she just refuses to understand what. Her breath hitches because she stares into his eyes and it's a cerulean abyss, with layers after layers of emotions that swirl around, never to be identified. It's how he parts his lips, his breathing shaky, and it's how she gets a clue of his nervousness. But what has he got to be nervous about? Nene's afraid of answering that question.

He closes his lips and purses it slightly and Nene absolutely knows that he's about to repeat it again.

So, she asks, "Do you really want to know?"

He nods.

And she hates that she whispers, "It's you."

Satoshi relaxes his shoulders. His eyes are searching for something in hers, because there's still a tinge of disbelief and the way he bites his lower lip shows how much he's wishing for it to be real.

"So, you don't really love me?" Satoshi asks, but somehow doesn't look as disappointed as Nene wants him to be.

"Well, just like I told you earlier it doesn't matter because I don't know anything about it."

He regards this for a moment, but then says, "I'm not asking if you know anything about love; I'm asking if you love me or not."

And Nene's lips dry because what can she reply to that?

"I-I don't know," she says. Truly, that's what she feels right? She doesn't know anything about love, certainly she feels too young to know anything about that. "Love is too complicated for me."

Satoshi regards her answer for a minute before shrugging, closing his eyes once more. He tells her, "Well, it doesn't have to be. It's actually pretty simple."

Nene stares at him. She asks, forcing the words through her mouth, "Y-you've been in love?"

He gives a coy grin, shrugging as if he cannot be bothered, and says, "Of course."

"How did you know you were in love?"

There's a pause, which Nene considers a moment of hesitation that maybe he's rethinking everything and that maybe he doesn't really love this person. She hates that there's a glimmer of hope in her. She wonders why she wouldn't want Satoshi to find love.

What Nene considered a moment of hesitation is actually just a pause to recollect his thoughts. He clears his throat and opens his eyes, revealing the blue that Nene has dreamed of time and time again. He says, "I stare at her often, look at her when she's busy reading, memorize the sigh of relief after she's finished laundry. She's always in my mind, and I always worry myself if she's eaten at school or if she's remembered to drink water when studying for her tests. I'm always thinking of her happiness, always able to share everything to her, able to give her advice if she really needs it. I just want her to be happy, not to be trapped by anyone, not her mother or by me."

Nene's lips part open. Disbelievingly, she asks the obvious, "You _love_ me?"

"That's why I left you on our wedding day—I didn't want you to be forced to love me. I just wanted your happiness," Satoshi confesses.

She melts. Then, she cries because she remembers their wedding day and it's just crushed hearts and wasted lives. She thinks of the many hours she spent crying, the months she spent grieving, and she thinks he's unfair for putting her through all that. Why couldn't he have married her back then? Why did they have to go all through this if he really did love her?

And it's as if Satoshi's hearing her thoughts because he says, "I didn't think you would be happy with me back then, considering how forced it was."

"Do you think I can be happy with you now?"

Satoshi inhales sharply, Nene sees the guilt in his eyes. But there's no question to what he feels, he asks her first, "Is it forced now?"

Nene thinks of how she's always liked looking at Satoshi during Sunday afternoons or Friday dinners, maybe watering the plants or tying his shoes. She thinks of how often she thinks of him, if he was able to find or job and, when he did, were his co-workers treating him right? She thinks of how affected she was when she found out he was abandoned by his family, how protective she was of him. She thinks of his happiness and readies herself to abandon her own family, to see the world, and taste it with him. But he thinks of her happiness too, and she melts even more.

"No."

"So, are you in love with me?"

There's no hesitation when she replies yes.

* * *

 **a/n: i felt this was a bit rushed but i cant add anymore conflicts so i decided to go with this. thanks for those who supported this story! i might write an epilogue just to wrap things up but for now this story's officially complete. see you on my next ones!**


End file.
